“Before the holidays, the apartment needs a proper deep clean. Come over and clean ours. Nick told me you’re free this weekend.”
“Diane, I… I already have plans. Lily and I were going to—”
“You can make time for your own things later!” she snapped, not letting Erin finish. “I’m old. It’s hard for me now. You’re supposed to help us.”
Erin got up at six, just as she did every morning. Moving quietly on tiptoe so she wouldn’t wake her daughter, Lily, she slipped into the kitchen, turned on the electric kettle, and while the water heated, picked up her phone.
For the last three months, her mornings had begun the same way: she opened the banking app and counted how many days were left until payday. There was almost nothing on the card, and her paycheck would not come until the following week.
She set the phone down, exhaled slowly, and leaned both palms against the windowsill. On the chair lay Lily’s old school cardigan, tossed there the night before. Erin had carefully mended the sleeve by hand. Her little girl had nearly outgrown it, but buying a new one felt like an impossible dream.
The day before, on Lily’s way home from school, her winter boot had torn open—the sole had simply split apart. Erin had noticed how her daughter tried to hide the damage, as if she were afraid of making her mother sad.
That evening, Erin and Lily were already standing in the nearest shoe store, searching for the cheapest warm pair of new boots they could find.
“Mom, why bother? I can still wear these for a while…”
“No, sweetheart. Winter is only starting. You’re not going to walk around with holes in your shoes. You’ll get sick.”
And once again, money disappeared from a budget that barely existed in the first place.
When they came home that night, a heavy sigh drifted from the bedroom, followed by the lazy shuffle of slippers. It was Nick. He had woken up late because he had gone to bed only at dawn after endless online streams with his friends. The rest of the day he had spent lying around, in no hurry to do anything or go anywhere.
“What took you so long?” he muttered as he passed them, not even looking at his wife.
“We bought Lily winter boots.”
“Nothing better to spend money on? Are we rich now?” he burst out.
“No! That’s exactly the problem—we have no money at all. But our daughter’s boots fell apart. Maybe it’s time you finally pulled yourself together, Nick!” Erin shot back, her voice sharper than she intended.
“Why are you so worked up again?” he grumbled. “I told you, I’ll find a job. I just can’t take any random thing. I’m a man, aren’t I?”
Erin pressed her lips together. She had heard that line a thousand times over the past three months. At first, Nick had announced that he would become a delivery driver.
“That’s a great gig! Couriers make good money!”
But after three deliveries failed to get confirmed and money was even deducted from his account, Nick abruptly changed his mind.
“They’re nothing but scammers!” he shouted. “That’s not my fault! They set me up!”
In the end, he hadn’t earned a cent. He had actually lost money. After that, Nick tried driving rideshare. But he never received the better, higher-paying rides because his car was in the cheapest category, and beginners rarely got the good orders anyway. So now he sat at home, offended at the entire world.
Erin carried the household alone: groceries, clothes, school expenses, utilities, medicine—everything landed on her shoulders.
The next morning, when Lily was only just waking up to get ready for school, Erin was already leaving for work. As always, Lily came over to kiss her on the cheek, but her eyes quickly swept over her mother: the old, worn-out puffer coat, the same hat, the same things Erin had been wearing for five years.
Erin caught that glance, and her heart tightened painfully. Her daughter was embarrassed.
“Mom,” Lily said hesitantly, “after school today, Olivia and Kate are going to see a New Year’s movie. Could I maybe… go with them?”
Her voice faded. She didn’t want to ask.
“Call me after class,” Erin said softly. “Maybe we’ll figure something out. I’ll see if I can find a little money.”
But Lily already knew the answer. Going to the movies was a luxury in their family. It always had been, and now the lack of money felt even sharper, even more humiliating. The girl simply nodded, pretending to believe it, and went to get ready.
When Erin arrived at work, she sat down at her desk and lowered her face into her hands. She was almost forty. For ten years she had worked in the same place. She saved on herself constantly. For five years she had worn the same coat, one that didn’t look any better no matter how carefully she washed it.
Every month she counted the days—until payday, until an advance, until that small moment when she might finally buy Lily something new, so her daughter wouldn’t have to look at the other kids with quiet envy.
Erin never complained. She simply kept going. But today, for some reason, the weight of it all felt especially heavy and sad. She suddenly pictured Lily standing in front of the movie theater, watching her classmates buy popcorn while she forced a smile and said, “I don’t need any.”
Erin wiped away a tear, drew in a shaky breath, and whispered the words she repeated to herself every morning:
“Just a little longer. We’ll manage. Everything will work out… any day now.”